Lexx 50: Xteven's Tale
by Tonerz
Summary: Xev and Stan have a son?! How Could I even think about writing this?! Read the Story so far, R/R I beg of you. This is A VERY good Story in the making if you give it a chance. Chapter 4 is up! FINALLY!
1. Prolouge

Lexx 5.0: Xteven's Tale  
  
Lexx, as well as Kai, 790, Stan, Xev, and Prince belong to Salter Street Films.  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
The Little Lexx Ship floated though space...  
  
"Empty...Empty...Empty...My heart is so empty" Line 6,871,232,372,872 Of 790's Ode to Kai, Being inorganic, it still wasn't absorbed in Lil' Lexx's Stomache  
  
"Stanley....Stanley..." The lil Lexx bellowed  
  
Stanley Slept still inside the moth he flew in.  
  
"Stanley...Stanley..."  
  
Stan is still sleeping.  
  
Xev has woken up because of the repeated attempts by the Lexx to grab Stan's attention. She walked over to Stan's Moth.  
  
"Stan, wake up..." Xev whispered in Stan's ear  
  
"rrmmm ulll....haammm" Stan Murmuered in his sleep  
  
"Stanley....Stanley..." The Lil' Lexx continued  
  
Still near Stan's ear, Xev yelled "STAN WAKE UP!"  
  
"ACK!...Xev...Why did you do that?!"  
  
"The Lexx wants something, he's been calling your name for 3 hours. Get up!"  
  
"All right all right...I was having such a good dream too..."  
  
"With Kai dead...my heart...my heart...is also dead" 790 cried.  
  
"Stanley...Stanley..."  
  
"All Right, I'm here Lexx, what is it?"  
  
"There is a planet in front of me, it looks very tasty, and I am very hungry, Stanley. May I eat it?"  
  
The planet was blue, with green fields and purple oceans, it looked very peaceful.  
  
"Lyekka must've not gotten this far," Stan said to himself "H-Hold on Lexx..."  
  
Stan jumped off the self-made bridge and ran over to where Xev stood. "I think we found one! Lets go in the Moth and check it out!!!"  
  
"Why Stan," said Xev "I've never seen you so anxious before. What if it's dangerous?"  
  
"Are you kidding? a year of seeing nothing but planets destroyed by Lyekka and we finally found one that she didn't get to! I don't care about danger anymore, Prince is gone, Priest is gone, we're here, and we HAVE to go down there!"  
  
Xev shrugged and protruded her lips in a smile "Ok then let's go!"  
  
They took off in the moth and flew into the planet, seeing lush green fields, rolling purple streams, spectacular sights abound, moving in closer they could see forests of trees with endless amounts of food and woodland creatures. It was...perfect...but one problem: No People, the entire planet had no people, Anywhere! Xev and Stan looked around everywhere for signs of civilization, but nothing, it was untouched.  
  
"This is erie...Why are there no people here?" Xev asked  
  
"I don't know...but there's plenty of food and animals...so it must be able to support life." Stan answered  
  
"You're becoming too optomistic, Stan"  
  
"I'm excited, Xev..I really am...I'm home"  
  
"Home? but there are no people here...no women."  
  
"I know that...but how do you know we'll ever come close to a planet like this again?"  
  
"...I suppose you're right...But what will we do about Lil' Lexx?"  
  
"Well...He's hungry...Let's feed him."  
  
The moth chittered as they flew back up towards the Lexx.  
  
"Lexx?"  
  
"Yes Stanley?"  
  
"Can you move?"  
  
"Yes Stan, I can move. But I am very Hungry, Stan"  
  
"I know that, Lexx. I want you to Land on the planet and eat that large forest."  
  
"As you command, Stan"  
  
The Lexx proceeded to fly into the planet chomping down on every bit of tree, fruit, and woodland creature.   
  
"Lexx?"  
  
"Yes Stan?"  
  
"Once you are done eating, I want you to bury yourself into the ground, do you understand?"  
  
"Yes Stan, Once I am done eating, I will bury myself into the ground."  
  
"What are you doing?" Xev asked angrily "You might want to call this home but I don't."  
  
"Xev, I don't want to be completely alone, you're the only one I trust in this whole universe."  
  
"But I want to go to a planet that has at least some people in it!"  
  
"How long do you think that will take? 5 years? 50 years? You may be part cluster lizard but that part of you that is Human, ages Xev, and there are no cryochambers on this ship so you can't freeze yourself. I want to be here, I want to live here. This will be my home. And I'm inviting you to live with me."  
  
"Very enticing offer!" Said someone else who is not Xev, someone very evil  
  
"Prince..." Said Stan "What are you doing here? Who's gonna die?"  
  
"Both of you...but not for awhile, I'm only here because someone in the afterlife requested to see you Before he returns to the living."  
  
"Kai?" said Xev, VERY hopefully  
  
"No, Xev, I asked him if he wanted to come back to life, but he declined, he said to me "I have already lived too long.""  
  
"W-Well if it's not Kai," stammered Stan "T-Then who is it?"  
  
"I will let him introduce himself"  
  
In he walked a man looking about 20 years old. wearing Stanley's outfit, except that it was partially dyed Blue, which therefore made it purple. Along with the hat, only it looked Modified to look like a 1 instead of a 4, Attached to his right arm was a very colorful looking brace, very Bruunen G-ish, with the Scorpion blade attached as well, The man had slicked black hair with red stripes on either side of his head. and a small goatee on his chin.  
  
"Who are you?" asked Stan  
  
"I am Xteven K. Tweedle" the man answered "I am yours and Xev's son."  
  
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End Prolouge, Well do ya like it? hate it? let me know. PLEASE Review this story, if I get enough good reviews I'll continue on with this Story, and I really do want to, so until next time. Tonerz signs off. Cheerie Bye.  
  
Note: The correct pronounciation is "ZZT-even" 


	2. The Future for Stan and Xev

LEXX 5.0: Xteven's Tale  
Chapter 1 - The Future of Stanley and Xev  
  
"S-SON?! What do you mean?!" shouted Stan, overwhelmed by the news.  
  
"Believe it Stanley," intervined Prince "He is actually your son."  
  
Xteven stood there, staring at Stan in amazement.  
  
"What are you staring at?!" Stan demanded.  
  
"Sorry," Said Xteven "It's just that this is the very first time I have ever saw you."  
  
"Wait, How could Stan be your father if this is the first time you've seen him?" Xev asked, still in shock but still managing to speak normally.  
  
"Well that's because--" Xteven was interruppted by Stan  
  
"That's RIGHT! I know, this is just another one of Prince's Tricks, messing with our heads again."  
  
"No, Father it's--"  
  
"Now why do I want to do that? I have no reason to do so, Stan." said Prince defensively  
  
"You have every reason, it is because you are evil! evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil EVIL!" retorted Stan.  
  
"Dad, will you just SHUT UP! Let me explain...this is the first time I have seen you because you died before I was born."  
  
a sullen silence went over the bridge...Xev looked like she was about to say something but then silenced herself.  
  
"Died?" asked Stan "H-How did I die?"  
  
"You were eaten...by Xev. The 7-Year ritual for cluster Lizards, they must mate then they must eat their mate. And since you were the only other human."  
  
"But wait..." said Xev finally speaking "I did the same thing with a living Kai...Why didn't I Have his child?"  
  
"I asked Kai himself that," Xteven replied "He said there there were two reasons: one, that soon after you were killed by the Devine Executioner Vlad, and two, the Preformance Artist Kai's special treatments he gave himself before preforming rendered him Sterile. He could get it up, but he had no juice."  
  
Stan looked to Xev "You ate Kai?"  
  
"It wasn't something I really had control of Stan..."  
  
"But Stanley's seed was still good, and was able to produce Xteven." said Prince  
  
Stan smiled at this little fact, who wouldn't?  
  
"I hate when you speak in scientific terms, Prince" said Xteven "you did that the whole time we were playing Yahtzee."  
  
(NOTE: Prince learned Yahtzee during his time on Earth, and taught it to Xteven)  
  
"Mother," said Xteven "You died too..."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well...I'll have to go into more detail on this one...it was I think my 8th year of age, I just came back from the other side of the planet so that I could avoid the 7-year cycle of the Cluster Lizard. That was when You gave me the Map to find the Lexx so that I could obtain the key."  
  
"But since Stan was dead the key would've come to me." said Xev  
  
"The Little Lexx is somewhat different then that, whenever the one who has the key gets to the point of Sexual Ecstacy or the point of Death, the key jumps out and goes right back to the Lexx, then on whoever gets to the bridge first and proclaims themself captain obtains the key. Of couse it can also be given freely from person to person. I found that out as Kai told me of the memory of watching a man named Thodin who gave the key to one of his followers shortly before Kai killed him. But anyway...it was right after You, Xev, gave me the Map and we set off to find the place where Stanley told the Lexx to bury himself..."  
  
(Insert Flashback Effect Here)  
  
An 8 Year old Xteven and a very sickly looking Xev rode in a moth towards the burial site. They finally reached the point and began to dig. Xev was resting in the Moth when...  
  
"Mother?" said Xteven  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"The planet is...empty."  
  
"What do you mean Empty?"  
  
"Exactly what I said. The planet is Hollow."  
  
"The Lexx must've eaten all the innards of the planet" said Xev "This planet could Collapse in on itself at any minute!"  
  
"I see the Ship down there, Mother."  
  
"We better get in the Moth and get to the bridge."  
  
Xteven and Xev raced to the Moth and flew down inside the Hollow planet, towards the Little Lexx, Though it was dark the light shining from the Little Lexx's head served as a marker for Xev to fly into the ship. Xteven and Xev walked onto the Bridge and looked towards the open area  
  
"Now, like what I told you to say when we get here."  
  
"ok...Lexx, this is Xteven K. Tweedle, your new Captain"  
  
"You're my captain?" bellowed the little Lexx  
  
"Yes, yes I am."  
  
The shining blue stream of light came down from overhead as Xteven raised his hand for the Key to flow into him.  
  
Xev smiled proudly at Xteven then started to make her way back to the Moth.  
  
"Mother, where are you going?"  
  
"Back to the surface, back home. I've done what your father, Stanley told me to do...now it looks like I will join him in death."  
  
"What are you saying? We got the Lexx back, we can get out of here and find ourselves a new home."  
  
"This, Xteven, has been the only home I've ever enjoyed being in. I want to stay. I want to rejoin with my friends in the next world. Take the Lexx, Xteven, and find yourself a new home, with a good woman to play with. Goodbye Xteven." Xev smiled, then climbed into the moth, flying away from a teary-eyed Xteven.  
  
"Lexx?"  
  
"Yes Xteven?"  
  
"Lets get out of here, and find us a new home."  
  
"As you command, Captain."  
  
The Little Lexx tilted itself upward and raced through the crust of the planet, a force so stron it managed to cave in the rest of the planet's surface, making it collapse upon itself.  
  
As this was happening, Xev was singing the song of the Bruunen G as the earth below her collapsed and she fell to her death.  
  
"And that's how it began..." said Xteven, finishing up the first part of his story "but that's not how it ends."  
  
"The next part is by far my favorite." said Prince  
  
"That's because you're in it. and so is one of those girls you called "Longbore's Sluts""  
  
"Do you mean Doctor Longbore? The guy who built the Noah?" asked Stan  
  
"The very same, Father."  
  
"Just call me Stan...I'm still not used to this father thing..."  
  
"All right then, Stan."  
  
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Well end Chapter 1. I hope I gave Stanley and Xev good death scenes, it's how I wanted their swan songs to be. And I gave you somewhat of a hint of what the next Chapter will be. But who is this "Longbore Slut" You won't believe who I have in mind. Mwa ha ha ha. Review Now! and be gentle if ya hate it.  
  
Cheerie Bye. 


	3. Last of the Noah

Lexx 5.0: Xteven's Tale  
  
Chapter 2: Last of the Noah.  
  
"So what happened next?" asked Xev  
  
"Well, it was 10 years later, I think...I calculated a year every time 790 said th--."  
  
"790? He's here?!" Stan said "I thought he disintergrated along with the rest of the old Lexx!"  
  
"Apparently not, he told me that as soon as the Little Lexx was born, it gobbled him up, but it could not digest him." replied Xteven  
  
"790 must still be in the stomache of the Little Lexx" Xev said, she stood up and headed towards her Moth.  
  
"W-Wait a second, Xev! You are not bringing that Robot Head back up here, not until we find some kind of hammer or club so I can smash that thing to pieces!" Stan Demanded  
  
"Since when do I listen to you? He might be broken now. We can fix him up but blind him so he doesn't fall in love with anyone."  
  
"You just heard Xteven, he isn't broken! 790's still insane, still in love with Kai, who I might remind you is completely dead now, so nothing can stop that thing from planning to kill us all."  
  
Xteven and Prince looked at eachother in response to Stan's Statement. Both Smirking.  
  
"He has no reason to, either Stan." She smiled and continued on her way to her Moth.  
  
The Moth Chitterd as it raised up off the landing platform, down to the stomache of the Little Lexx. 790's lit eyes and mouth were seen clearly as Xev picked the robot head up from the stomache walls  
  
"XEV! You're Alive! Oh WOE IS ME!!! Kai is dead and you're still alive! There is No Justice in the Universe!!!"  
  
"Shut up, tin can" said Xev, she looked away for a moment...I sounded just like Stan then. Xev Thought.  
  
"Oooooooh I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You ...." 790 carried on like that as Xev flew back up to the landing strip of the Bridge.  
  
"...I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STANLEY TWEEDLE!!!! WHY WHY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP BREATHING?!?!"  
  
"Great to see you too, 790" Stan scoffed, sarcastically, of course.  
  
Xteven laughed "Man, it has been a long time since I've seen Seva Nightee in Robot Head Form!"  
  
"Seva Nightee?" Stan said  
  
"Well the answer for that is also in the story. We just got out of the western part of the Galaxy when we came apon the Noah..."  
  
(Insert Flashback Effect Here)  
  
A 19 year old Xteven, the only thing different about him is the absence of a Goatee and Kai's Brace. 790 was beside him. Xteven Stood on the command platform Stanley built shortly before finding the deserted planet.  
  
"...And my heart will never heal...My Poem is finished." said 790  
  
"...Finished?"  
  
"Yes, son of Scum. I have recited all 10 Thousand Trillion Lines of my Poem. My Tribute to Kai is done, but will never be forgotton, just as my Love for Kai will go on forever."  
  
"You know in all those lines, 790, I haven't learned one single thing about this "Kai" guy."  
  
"I knew you were listening, and if I told you anything about my stiff you'd try to steal him away from me."  
  
"How could I steal him away? according to My Mother, Kai was completely destroyed by the HiggsBosen partical Accelorator. What am I gonna do? find the planet you destroyed and look for that ultra-dense partical and put it in my pocket and keep it from you?"  
  
"AAHH! You Fiend! I should push you off the Bridge right now!" Suddenly 790 began to sing "oooooohhhh If I only had a body I'd be more than just a head, I would go right to Xteven Tweedle and STRANGLE him till he's dead!"  
  
"And then you'll fall in love with me."  
  
"You wish, Tweedle."  
  
Xteven looked out the many eyes of the Little Lexx seeing a floating vessle, with the artwork of a very muscular dark-skinned man with a large member tucked inside a tight yellow undergarment painted on the side.  
  
"Jeez that ship is Huge!" exclaimed Xteven "What is it?"  
  
"It is a large space craft made from materials garnered from a Type-13 Planet in it's final stages." said 790 "I have scanned the craft and there are 17 dead female corpses, 1 dead male corpse, and 1 female in cryosleep"  
  
"Is the woman in Cryostasis alive?"  
  
"Typical Tweedle" 790 sighed "yes the Female is alive. I still suggest you use this inferior ship as target practice"  
  
"I want to check this place out first."  
  
"I'd rather suggest you didn't"  
  
"why not?"  
  
"The fumes from all the dead bodies have become extremely toxic. Were you to inhale it you'd puke out all of those nasty organs you have inside you."  
  
"One thing that Xteven K Tweedle is, is full of Suprises. I picked up some biosuits last year. For an advanced piece of technology, you have a very bad blind spot. You never noticed I had these?"  
  
"I try not to look at you at all. The fact that Stan breeded alone makes me want to self destruct, if I had such an Option."  
  
"Awww so nice to know you care."  
  
"Ok, I'm the one with the Blind Spot?!"  
  
"You're coming with me, Robot head"  
  
"I have no desire to go to that ship."  
  
"And I have no desire to accidently break the cryopod, because I'm going to take it. And you will help me properly dismantle it by giving me instructions."  
  
"Even though you're more brave and intelligent than Stan, you're still nothing but a Tweedle and Tweedles are utterly useless!"  
  
Xteven and 790 rode off in the both to the Noah, after opening the hatchway, Xteven quickly put of the helmet of his biosuit, carrying 790 under his arm. They walked through the Noah, skipping over dead decomposing bodies, many of them were formerly attractive young blond women with short skirts, as they came closer to the cryochambers of the Noah, they spotted another dead woman, only this one had short brown hair and a sequined dress. and was not decomposing like all the others.  
  
"A Cyborg" said 790  
  
"I Thought Type-13 planets were primitive."  
  
"They are. So this means this Cyborganic Slut did not come from the planet."  
  
Xteven clicked a button, opening a refridgerator-type drawer chock-full of delicious food  
  
"Plenty of food...obviously they didn't die of Starvation." exclaimed Xteven  
  
They walked into the cryo room, seeing 3 Identical Cryochambers, only one occupied.  
  
"The cryosleep pods are identical to the ones used on the old Lexx."  
  
"How would people from a Type-13 planet build things like these?"  
  
"With help from a WONDERFUL dead man and his robot head lover." 790 boasted.  
  
"Should've known you had a hand in this...figurativly speaking. Well, let's get the empty ones unhooked and back onto the Lexx."  
  
"The Cryopods are all hooked up to the same mechanism, and we'll need the mechanism for the cryopods to work. So all or nothing, Tweedle Twerp."  
  
Xteven sighed as he went to the cryopod control panel. "Which button do I press to release the girl?"  
  
"Why would you want to do that? everyone here is dead except for her, which can only mean she killed everyone on board. I say let her freeze dry."  
  
"I'm not going to do that, 790, Now what button do I press...wait these buttons are color coded. Red Zone, Green Zone, Yellow Zone"   
  
Xteven pressed the yellow button leading it up to the Yellow Cryopod which had the woman inside. The door opened to reveal a gothy-looking woman, with black everything, lips, eyeliner, disheveled clothes, her hair was straightened down and cut to neck length. She opened her eyes, to look at Xteven, then put her hand up to her face"  
  
"GOD, WHAT REEKS?!"  
  
Xteven came up to her, and handed her the extra BioSuit.  
  
"My name is Xteven, I just came for the cryopods."  
  
The woman finished putting the BioSuit on and looked up at Xteven, in a sultry sullen voice "I am Lomia"  
  
"Did you kill everyone?"  
  
"Everyone's Dead??...Cool..."  
  
"Smooth Observation, you overmade-up whore" 790 rolled it's digitized eyes at her  
  
"Who's the Can?"  
  
"790. he helped build this ship."  
  
"heh...I stowed away. I didn't even know we left the Earth...I was in here the whole time. How long have I been out?"  
  
"Approxamitly 21 years 3 months 18 days 4 hours and 16.87 seconds." 790 calculated  
  
"Yikes, I'm older than my parents!" Lomia  
  
"Where are they?" Xteven asked  
  
"They died. They got probed in the ass by these walking carrots, it was funny" Lomia laughed  
  
"Wierd planet..." Xteven said "All right, 790, if you would care to assist me?"  
  
"I would not care to do anything except mourn for my dead man"  
  
Xteven picked up a large book "Lomia...can you read this?"  
  
"Can't you?" Lomia said, disdainfully  
  
"No, I grew up on a planet that had no books except for this one called "Life of Joy""  
  
"Ugh...that book sucks." Lomia spouted. "It says 'Instructional manual for the assembly and disassembly of the cryochambers, by Dr. H. Longbore.'"  
  
"Oooh, this means I won't need your help, Robot head"  
  
"I think not, for that moron learned the instructions from yours truly and I doubt he has every single bit of in--"  
  
Just then a womanly fist caved in 790's head, smashing it to pieces.  
  
"I kill you both in the name of His Devine Shadow" the cyborganic woman said in an erie electronic voice.  
  
Lomia and Xteven were frozen in terror as the antagonist charged towards them, sharp spiked extending from her closed fists, but just then, the Cyberwoman hunched over, a powering down sound heard. There was a man standing behind her, with short blond spiky hair adorned with male pattern baldness, a regal type with a ring in the middle of his bottom lip, and a great overall tan on his face.  
  
"My My..." Prince said as he examined the spiked fists of the cybergirl "That would've hurt a lot."  
  
"Who are you?" Xteven asked after a long silence  
  
"I am Prince, " He bowed to both "...Are you not going to thank me for saving your lives?"  
  
"Th...Thank you, Prince"  
  
Prince leered at Xteven, his clothes sparking a memory in Prince's mind "You remind me of someone, boy...What is your name?"  
  
"Xteven Tweedle, I...I am the captain of the Lexx"  
  
"That's impossible, I saw the Lexx die, I see everyone in the universe that dies. I saw everyone in this ship die, and the Lexx, which was a living thing, also died. So you're lying."  
  
"It's a New Lexx, born right after the old one died."  
  
"Well then...if you're the captain...then where is the key?"  
  
Xteven showed his right hand, which shined a glowing blue. Prince's mouth gaped open.  
  
"So it is true...You are the captain...Where is this "new Lexx"?"  
  
"Outside."  
  
"You don't like talking much, do you, Steven Tweedle?"  
  
"It's ZZT-even, Xteven Tweedle."  
  
Lomia, who was still staring at Xteven after he showed the key finally spoke up "You HAVE to show me how you do that"  
  
Xteven looked at the smashed bits of 790, seeing an odd pink box in the middle of all the rubble.  
  
"What is that?" Xteven asked to himself  
  
"Looks like a piece of human brain. What is a piece of brain doing inside a Robot head?" Lomia replied.  
  
Xteven looked at the rubble and then to the downed cyberwoman, he smirked "I got an Idea."  
  
Hours later, Xteven was fiddling around inside the Cyberwoman's head, taking out certain pieces and placing parts from 790 inside.   
  
"Tell me Xteven, how is it that you know what you're doing?" Prince asked  
  
"I don't know...When I look at it it feels like I know exactly what to do."  
  
Prince smirked "What if I were to tell you that I know what is happening to you?"  
  
"And how would you know?"  
  
"I am Death, personified."  
  
Xteven stopped his work and looked at Prince awkwardly  
  
"When someone is about to die, they see a face, My face, and when they die and come over to the other side. I am there to welcome them. I welcomed your mother and father Xteven. As well as their dead friend Kai. Kai is telling your mind how to do what you're doing now. Fixing the Robot Head, that is what I am here, I am the doorway Kai can use to communicate with you."  
  
"How is it that Kai can even see me?"  
  
"Well...I am the Prince of death...you can call him "The King of Death"."  
  
"King Kai...that's a wierd name."  
  
Xteven resumed his work, in a few more hours Xteven was finished. he moved behind the cyberwoman to pull her back upright from her hunched position. Lomia was in front of her seeing her eyes already opened, staring at her, the eyes began to move, staring at Lomia, until finally the cyberwoman spoke.  
  
"I will Love you forever."  
  
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Chapter 2 is done...woo this took a long time. Hope you all like it. if I get more good reviews I will continue on. Until next time...  
  
Cheerie Bye 


	4. Seva Nightee

Lexx 5.0: Xteven's Tale  
  
Chapter 3: Seva Nightee  
  
"That should do it." Xteven proclaimed  
  
"Oh my little raven beauty, you look absolutely ravishing!" The cyber woman cried out  
  
ZZT! Back to the present  
  
"Wait wait wait!" 790 shouted "you're lying! There's no way I'd fall in love with that Goth slut! My Kai has not been mourned over properly; it was too soon to go on!"  
  
"Your programme was reset, Seva! That love slave programming reset when I put your data cards and piece of brain into the cyborg. Therefore you forgot all about Kai and Xev and Stan and everyone else prior to when your can caved." Xteven explained.  
  
"YOU FIEND! HOW COULD YOU?! YOU MADE ME FORGET ABOUT KAI?! OHHHH I HOPE MY NEW BODY STRANGLED YOU SENSELESS!!!" 790 then showed with his eye screens a picture of Xteven's head being pummeled between two hammers over and over again.  
  
"Well, long story short, the new 790 fell in love with Lomia, and I just finished carrying the cryopods to the Lexx. I came back to the Noah to pick up you and Lomia when."  
  
"Oh GEEZ!" Xteven cried out from the sight he saw: the cyberwoman, Lomia, a soft, long probe, you get the picture.  
  
"Do you Mind??" Lomia shouted then gave Xteven a sultry look. "Or perhaps you'd like to join us?"  
  
"No thank you!" the cyberwoman said. "I work alone!"  
  
"Oh come on, Hon, it might be fun." Lomia pouted  
  
"Something about that.man just rubs me the wrong way."  
  
"Well I can see not all of your memory is erased. Shall we be off? Unless you've taken a liking to the wonderful stench in here."  
  
Lomia threw the cyberwoman from off the top of her body. "No thank you! Let's get the hell out of here!"  
  
"But wait my dark seductress! I'm not finished yet! There are still 15 more attachments to use! I found a vacuum suction hose beneath my left breast!" the cyberwoman then looked over at the crumbled and shattered 790 head shell and promptly screamed in terror.  
  
Back on the Lexx.  
  
"Hey." The cyberwoman said as she looked at the reflective eyes of the Lexx's hull. "I recognize this body."  
  
"Oh really?" Xteven asked "Who?"  
  
"It once belonged to a woman named Squeeze Pimel, a line girl assigned to a way station for clerics on planet B1B in the Light Universe. She was Executed for seducing a young cleric and sentenced to have her organs taken out for purposes that served His Shadow, her organs were to feed the Lexx and a piece of her brain was used to make the connection between a human body and a 790 head.oh my."  
  
"What?" Lomia woke up "The history lesson over?"  
  
"The piece of brain.the brain in my head was Squeeze's brain.I have my body back! I know who I am!!!"  
  
"Squeeze Pimel?" Xteven asked "I like 790 better"  
  
"I am no longer a 790 robot anymore Tweedle! I can not be called that anymore!"  
  
"Fine. 'Seva Nightee' then."  
  
"DIE TWEEDLE!!!" Seva lunged at Xteven ready to put a knife in his throat, but all that came out of Seva's hand was a condom.  
  
"Oh yeah, I took out all the weapons in your new body and replaced it with contraceptives and sex toys. Lomia's idea.  
  
"Yes," said Lomia "Now come Squeeze, so that I may put your name to good use."  
  
"I will deal with you later, Male. Right now, my Lady Lover needs service." Seva jumped off of Xteven and followed Lomia off of the bridge."  
  
"So what happened next?" asked Xev  
  
"A whole lot of nothing until Xteven's death at the hands of-" Pince replied until Xteven interrupted.  
  
"I hate interruptions, I'm telling the story."  
  
"Prince, do I kill him? Please say I killed him, please say it was gruesome, painful and agonizing for him!" 790 cried out  
  
"No Seva, you didn't kill me."  
  
If Seva didn't kill Xteven, who did?? Once again, you won't believe what I have in store for the next tale. I'll give you a hint: Kai will be in it. Until Next Time, May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you. 


End file.
